During the first few months that I was caring for my Mom and Dad, I would ask Dad, “Do you remember about this or that” and he wouldn’t be able to remember. He would feel bad when I asked. He would tell me, “I feel like I am losing a piece of my mind every day.” This statement came from an engineer and architect who had owned his own company!! I would find hard back best seller books in the trash. When I asked Dad why he threw away the book, he would reply, “Nothing in there makes any sense! Why would someone write such trash!!"
When Dad was tested for Alzheimer’s disease using the Mini-Mental State Examination (MMSE), he would either look to me for the answers or look at me and say, “Boy, I am really dumb, aren’t I?” That was enough to make me cry!!
I eventually changed the way in which I approached him. I would prepare one or two simple graphs or a paragraph or two of explanation that he could read. I would then tell him the two main choices that we had to pick from. This way, Dad would feel comfortable that he was involved in the process of the decision making.
He might not remember that we had talked or what we had decided, but he could tell enough at the time to help out with the decision. This method of decision making made him feel more important.
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